Dave Morrison

I have to go to my
doctor for back pain—
it seems that I have

glass rods in my shoulders
held in place with rusted
iron pins, and it’s to the

point where I can’t even
shrug. My friend told me
about Doctor Lee while I

was signing her cast. “Unorthodox,
but none of the mumbo-jumbo.”
On my first visit Doctor Lee

asked me how I felt. I told
him that it felt like there were
glass rods in my shoulders

held in place with rusted iron pins.
“That must be it then,” he said,
“What do you suppose we should

do about it?” I told him that the
glass rods needed to be shattered
with a billy club wrapped in

soft cloth, and the pins needed to
be melted with a blowtorch.
“That’s exactly what we’ll do.”

he said. Finally. A doctor who
understands me. It will empty
my bank account, and I don’t

care. Soon I’ll be able
to dance.